Thursday, December 29, 2011

Here I am in, just halfway thru the second week of getting up at 5am, to get time to practice. I am very glad that I have made that choice, although I was physically tired this morning.I adjusted where my hand placement moving into dwei so when I move to the next posture, i am in proper position. I've been a little sore from that, but nothing compared to the first month at the beginning.

Physical changes, along with the turn towards a vegetarian diet, this morning I weighed myself and have lost a couple more pounds. i try not to focus on any time of weight loss, that can be very consuming and trap for the ego. I have another zit growing on my nose, which is a bit of a good sign. Of course if you dread acne, you wouldn't think so, but if you have a Ashtanga practice you could probably accept it.

In the last week and a half I have had some Monster energy drinks in the mornings. I'm trying to cut those out, but I can feel the energy from the practice dissipate on the drive to work. It hasn't been every day either and I hope to cut these out completely. On my day off I got a Cappacino Blast, took a couple sips, then wondered why I had gotten it. Now this is strange, because I used to love these, until recently. In a way, it is like my choice to eat certain foods and cut others out. I have no desire to drink any alcohol, partly because I know my body( due to my practice) will purge it. My hearing as gotten more acute too, as just a short note.

During time with family I had comments to conversations come up, but before I could say anything, another family member said the exact words on my tongue. They weren't close, they were exact and it happened at least three times that I can remember.

As I approach my one year mark of my Ashtanga practice, I am almost able to complete all cycles of Sury B. It's exciting, I'll say it could be a couple months before I'm there and there's no hurry.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Dimmed and refueled

It would be obvious to the casual observer, to say I haven't posted here recently. It isn't for the lack of practicing though. After my last post, around then at least, I had computer trouble. Blog went silent, even when I got it back I wasn't quite focused.

Before the disruption, one of the things I experienced, was pressure on both ears, almost as if my body was sensing the change in atmospheric pressure. Then my practice slowed to a couple days a week, until it grinded to a halt. I got distracted by Crossfit, thought I might do both--Ashtanga and Crossfit. Hmmm, seems a bit silly now, not a swipe at Crossfit if that's what you enjoy. Then I stopped any physical activity, besides walking to my car, for about a month. I wasn't eating healthy and drank more beer than I had ina while. Then I slowly began to find my back to the mat and changed the diet again.

As of this night, I have made quite a commitment to my practice. No alcohol, diet that is 99%vegetarian and a wakeup time (as of this week) that gives me enough time to work my way into Sury B.

A couple of technical things; I'm trying out a new mat from Gaiam with no thirsty towel. I'm working out how to get from downward dog to the lunge. I read a few things on online, that I'm trying to use.

As far as experiences I believe are a result of my practice, I wish I had kept notes. Did have one of my ears with the pressure change last week. Now that I'm sitting here recalling this, I remember one other thing. There was a day I had such a strong tickling sensation along the back of my neck intermittantly. It was so strong that my body would shudder in pleasure every time.
With the advent of going deeper into the practice, I have been enveloped even more into this peace. It's like I don't see a need to speak, because nothing I could possibly say matters.

So, where does this find me? A bit lost, but serene. Do I still define myself as pagan? Or maybe I should decide what flavor of pagan I am...if I need to define myself by such things anyway. I think I'll be purging more stuff to declutter. I am at a place where if I was in a shack, able to stay warm and eat, and practice six days a week, I'd be content.

I am focused, not obsessed, with no desire to try and bend the universe with my will. I can't see the lines like I used to, everything has merged. Goodness and prosperity will come to me because of how I approach life...that sums up where my head is at right now.